Wednesday, December 30, 2015

The Comparison Game

The comparison game. Oh, boy!

Do I play it? Unfortunately, yes, all too often. How about you?

I’m in the midst of that struggle right now.

Her house is so much bigger…and clean ALL the time. My tiny house always has something out of place and crumbs everywhere.

Her clothes are gorgeous. How does she ALWAYS look that nice? I have spit-up on my clothes just about every day.

Her kids are so well behaved. How do they listen to EVERYTHING she says? My toddler turns to me and says, “Nah,” and gives me those defiant eyes.

Her marriage is perfect. They NEVER have arguments. I feel like a broken record asking my husband to pick up his socks.

Anyone else feel like everyone but you has it together? I sure do. It's all too easy to see the best of people and compare it to the worst of us.

Think about social media. Every day pictures and comments are posted that reflect the best parts of people’s lives: a newly remodeled room, an outfit that looks stunning, children getting along in perfect unity, and a smiling spouse posing in the perfect vacation spot.

When we focus on what other people portray to us, it’s easy to feel like we’ve failed. Since we know our own failures, it feels like we are never going to be good enough.

When we compare people's best to our worst, we're always going to feel like we don't measure up. ALWAYS. And when we get stuck there, it feels like no matter what we do is never going to be good enough.

What we don't see behind the “perfection” of someone else is the mess of dirty dishes in that newly remodeled kitchen, the struggle to find that perfect outfit because she's still trying to lose the baby weight, the following picture of her toddler pushing the baby sister flat on her face, and the argument that happened in the car that made her want to forget about even going on the vacation.

None of us have it all together. Some of us are just better at hiding that truth than others. But I wish we didn’t have to mask it. If we were more open about it maybe the comparison game would stop.

Let me tell you, my two year old put Aquaphor all through her hair on the day we were getting Christmas pictures taken. You have got to be kidding me. While it feels like stuff like that doesn’t happen to anyone else, I know it does.   

I fail every single day. And if you’re honest, you do too, but that’s what makes us human, and that’s what bonds us together on this journey. Instead of comparing what we have or don’t have, let’s share our hearts with those around us. Let’s be honest with each other. 

Let’s show the good, the bad, and the ugly of our lives instead of pretending we have it all together.

Ending the comparison game brings much needed rest and joy to our lives.

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. (Proverbs 14:30 NIV)

I want a heart at peace. Don't you?


  1. Another amazing article and hits me exactly true. Xo.... We may not have it all together but together we have it all. Wonderful article!