Motherhood Isn't for Type A Personalities

I’m tired.

It’s been one of those days where my children have not been on the same schedule. After a lot of back and forth, the house is finally quiet. Deep breath. I will get through the day.

Some days I need to remind myself of that more than others. This is one of them.

I take solace in Jesus’ promise: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NIV)

I am weary and burdened.

I need rest.

Even though I’m a stay-at-home mom, I’m also a work-from-home mom. I work two part time jobs from my kitchen table, bed, couch, desk, chair on the porch, or wherever I am when I get a chance. Since I don’t punch in at a certain time, that means I’m always working around my daughters’ schedules. Early in the morning, nap time, and after they go to bed are my “office” hours. 

When my days don't go as planned, I find myself stressing out and becoming overwhelmed by everything.

The baby cries…I want to cry.

The dishes aren’t washed…I want to cry.

I don’t know what to make for supper…I want to cry.

The toilet paper roll is empty…and I cry. Are you kidding me?

The stress of an “unproductive” day has gotten the best of me. When my feet hit the floor in the morning, I anticipated getting more done, but that’s not the way the day has gone.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21 NIV)

My own expectations lead to disappointments. Disappointments lead to frustration, and frustration leads to bitterness.

Everyone in the house gets that bitterness taken out on them, which isn’t fair. They didn't do anything to deserve it. Instead, it's my own sin and selfishness getting in the way.

Instead of being negative about it, which is the easiest response, I'm going to look for the good in it. Yes, I haven’t been able to accomplish all that I've planned, but I've had great one-on-one time with my kids. What a blessing! Time with my girls has more value than any paycheck I could ever receive.

Sometimes I think motherhood isn’t for “Type A” personalities. I'm a workaholic and can be quite uptight. Those tendencies have made for stressful moments, because life with little ones rarely goes as planned.

Motherhood has stretched me in ways that make me feel like I’m an old rubber band ready to snap. It's a slow process, but I'm learning the importance of going with the flow. Getting upset about something not going how I planned only causes more stress for my family and sets a bad example for my daughters.

I’m going to take a deep breath and change that toilet paper roll.