Precious Blessings

On my heart today are those dear mommas who have lost babies.

Those mommas who have never held their precious child in their arms. Those mommas who had a sweet child welcomed into the arms of God too soon. Those women who long to be mommas. They are all on my heart today.

I admit, there are moments I just want a break from motherhood, moments it would be nice to be in control of my entire day. I remember life before children. It was easy (even though I didn’t think so at the time). I could go to the grocery store without having to plan it around nap times. I could sleep until when I wanted on the weekends. For crying out loud, I could pee in peace.

Yes, life was easier then, but it is so much more blessed now. God reminds me of that at the perfect times when I feel exhausted. Sometimes I get caught up in my own frustrations that I forget how good I have it.

I have friends who have lost babies, friends who have struggled with infertility, friends who would give anything for sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and a crying baby. How ungrateful am I to complain about a tough day with my little ones!

Today, I’m going to thank God when my baby cries.

When my toddler makes a mess at lunch.

When she begs to play outside when I want to clean the house.

When my baby would rather be rocked in my arms than put down in her crib.

When my toddler tests my patience.

I am going to thank God for these two blessings in my life.

For those mommas who hurt from losing a child, know that I’m praying for you today. You are on my heart, and I am lifting you up to God. May He comfort you in a way only He can.

For those tired mommas wanting a break, I’m praying that God reminds you of the incredible blessing in your arms. Squeeze your kids a little tighter, and as you do, please join me in saying a prayer for those mommas who wish they could do the same.

You Matter

Moms Group started at church today, and this is the first time I’m participating. I’m excited to see what God has in store for this year, and I am purposefully looking for His hand in it because I want to be blown away by His power and love!

I’m excited about building new relationships with moms in the trenches of motherhood. What a difficult and isolating place it can be sometimes, but what an incredible job we have been given. God has entrusted us with little lives to mold.

I’m the quiet, reserved type of person, so putting myself out there to meet new people does not come naturally. Many times I would love to sit in the corner of the room, but I’ve also been hurt in the past when I have felt alone in a crowd. I’ve been hurt when it felt like I didn’t matter.

Motherhood is tough, and one of my prayers for Moms Group is that I will be encouraged, but I also pray God uses me to be an encouragement to other moms. May we build connections with each other and share our hearts with one another.

We all have something to learn from each other, and God has placed us exactly where we are to impact the lives of those around us.

Who can you impact today? Who is on your heart? Who needs encouragement?

I’m learning to listen to the whispers of the Holy Spirit. When someone comes to mind, do you push the thought out of your head? Or do you take a moment to pray for them? You might not know what they’re going through, but God does. 

Be an encourager. 

Lift them up in prayer. Send them a text or an email. Maybe even drop a letter in the mailbox. In our world of technology, I am always thrilled when there’s a card in the mail. Seeing handwritten letters makes me feel like I matter to someone.

We each matter. We matter as a woman. As a mom. As a sister. As a daughter. As a child of God.

We matter.

God wants us to be encouraged and be encouragers to others.

As a mom of daughters, I think it’s extremely important to let them know they matter. There are too many negative things in this world that try to devalue them or make them question their value, but they matter.

I also want them to see the value in other people. I want them to be encouragers.

Will you join me in praying for God to place someone on your heart? Be a light in their life. Even if you don’t know what they’re going through, just let them know that you’re thinking about them. Allow God to do the rest.

Motherhood Isn't for Type A Personalities

I’m tired.

It’s been one of those days where my children have not been on the same schedule. After a lot of back and forth, the house is finally quiet. Deep breath. I will get through the day.

Some days I need to remind myself of that more than others. This is one of them.

I take solace in Jesus’ promise: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NIV)

I am weary and burdened.

I need rest.

Even though I’m a stay-at-home mom, I’m also a work-from-home mom. I work two part time jobs from my kitchen table, bed, couch, desk, chair on the porch, or wherever I am when I get a chance. Since I don’t punch in at a certain time, that means I’m always working around my daughters’ schedules. Early in the morning, nap time, and after they go to bed are my “office” hours. 

When my days don't go as planned, I find myself stressing out and becoming overwhelmed by everything.

The baby cries…I want to cry.

The dishes aren’t washed…I want to cry.

I don’t know what to make for supper…I want to cry.

The toilet paper roll is empty…and I cry. Are you kidding me?

The stress of an “unproductive” day has gotten the best of me. When my feet hit the floor in the morning, I anticipated getting more done, but that’s not the way the day has gone.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21 NIV)

My own expectations lead to disappointments. Disappointments lead to frustration, and frustration leads to bitterness.

Everyone in the house gets that bitterness taken out on them, which isn’t fair. They didn't do anything to deserve it. Instead, it's my own sin and selfishness getting in the way.

Instead of being negative about it, which is the easiest response, I'm going to look for the good in it. Yes, I haven’t been able to accomplish all that I've planned, but I've had great one-on-one time with my kids. What a blessing! Time with my girls has more value than any paycheck I could ever receive.

Sometimes I think motherhood isn’t for “Type A” personalities. I'm a workaholic and can be quite uptight. Those tendencies have made for stressful moments, because life with little ones rarely goes as planned.

Motherhood has stretched me in ways that make me feel like I’m an old rubber band ready to snap. It's a slow process, but I'm learning the importance of going with the flow. Getting upset about something not going how I planned only causes more stress for my family and sets a bad example for my daughters.

I’m going to take a deep breath and change that toilet paper roll.

Feeling Like Martha

I fail.

I fail every single day.

If you walk in my house at any given moment, you will find at least one of these things, but sometimes it's all of them...dirty dishes in the sink, dirt and food stains on the floor, laundry waiting to be folded or put away, groceries still sitting out, toothpaste marks in the bathroom sink, and toys on the floor. Oh, the toys!

The battle to keep a clean house is real. It’s one that never ends, and more often than not I feel defeated by it.

Do you have those moments, too? Moments where you feel like a failure? Moments you feel defeated because it can’t be perfect?

I was having one of those days. Everything needed done, and there was not enough time to do it all.

I consumed my time with the tasks that needed accomplished that I was forgetting the most important part of staying at home. Investing in my children seemed to take a back seat.

It reminds me of the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42). Many times I feel like Martha: always worrying about the preparations that I forget to sit at the Lord’s feet. So many times I worry about the to-do list that I forget God is revealing himself to me when I spend time with my children.

My 22-month-old daughter walked into the kitchen as I was getting super started that evening. She pulled up the stool and wanted to help me make spaghetti. It was in that moment that I realized she didn't care about all the items still left my to-do list. She didn't care that the house was a mess. All she wanted was to spend time with her mom and be a helper. She wanted me to notice her.

She had the right priority, and God was using her to adjust my own. I find that God uses my kids to teach me more lessons than I ever thought I had to learn.

As she helped me butter the bread, I couldn't care less about the rest of the house. I was soaking up that priceless time. Won't you join me and do the same?

Thank God for the mess in your house. It means you have a family to care for and love.

Let’s leave the mess for a moment so we can spend time with the precious members of that family. It won’t be wasted, and God is just waiting to reveal himself. 

Middle of the Night Prayers

On my heart today are those mommas in the middle-of-the night-feeding stage. The mommas with heavy eyes during the day because they’ve been pulled from their bed by a baby who hungers for milk and comfort. The mommas who long for days children become more self-sufficient.

When I found myself in the midst of hearing crying babies at one o’clock in the morning, all I wanted was to pull my blanket over my head. Maybe if I ignored them they would fall asleep. But they needed me. They needed a new diaper, and all they wanted was to curl up in my arms and nurse. I wanted to deny them of that? Talk about feeling like a bad mom.

When my oldest began sleeping through the night, I was thrilled. I was getting a full night’s sleep. I could function more during the day. Things were getting back to normal. But when she didn’t feel well and needed my comfort in the middle of the night, I remember rocking her in the darkness of her room.

The neighbor’s outdoor light crept in through the window, providing a dimness that was calm. As we rocked back and forth, I felt blessed to spend that moment with her. The house was quiet. My husband was asleep. It was just the two of us. The stillness of the moment filled my heart with joy, and I actually missed those middle of the night feedings we left behind months and months ago.

Did I just think that to myself?

So when baby number two came along, I decided I was going to use that time wisely. I was going to appreciate it more because I knew it would be gone in the blink of an eye.

I found those hours to be great for praying. I prayed for my daughter: for her future, for her health, for our relationship. I lifted her up to God and asked him to use her for incredible things.

God met me in those middle of the night feedings, and I was able to see how precious they were. God is meeting you in those wee hours of the morning, too. Can you feel him?  

Take heart, mommas. This stage is not going to last forever. But while you’re in it, I hope you will begin to change the lens through which you look. Yes, sleep is a beautiful thing, and sometimes we long for it so strongly because it’s out of our reach. But know that you are blessed to have this time with your child.

No one else can provide your comfort.

No one else gets to have these moments with her, moments you’ll hopefully begin to treasure.

God can use this time to strengthen your prayer life. God can use this time to build a connection with your child that will last a lifetime. God can use this time to change your life. He can and he will if you allow him.

When your eyes are heavy and you feel like you’re going to stop functioning if you don’t get sleep sometime soon, take comfort in the fact that you are fulfilling God’s plan. You are providing something to your child that no one else can give. And in the midst of that, praying for your child is going to bless her (and you) in ways you can’t even imagine.

I don’t know what my girls’ lives hold, but I know God is holding them.

God is also doing a great work in each of our lives.

He is there.

Invite him into that dimly lit room at one in the morning. As your child fills up on milk, allow yourself to be filled by God’s presence.

Not sure what to pray? I have been encouraged by the Proverbs 31 Ministry, and Lysa TerKeurst, the president of that ministry, has written a wonderful post: “10 Prayers for Your Daughter” (at the bottom of her post is also a link for prayers to pray for your son).

http://lysaterkeurst.com/2014/01/10-prayers-for-your-daughter/  

May these words bless and encourage you as you walk your journey of motherhood. 

Enjoying the Chaos

The kids are starting to stir. They will soon be up, and the house will be filled with noise. My oldest daughter, almost two, will be asking for me to play with her on the floor. My youngest daughter, almost three months, will either be cooing at her sister or crying to let me know she wants fed. The silence in this moment is nice, but I know there will come a time I long for the noise.

My husband, a teacher, left this morning for the first day of in-service meetings. It has been a blessing having him home all summer, especially since we added another sweet girl to our family and I had a long recovery from hemorrhaging six weeks after our daughter was born.

Having him leave this morning made me uneasy. I’m on my own. I am now outnumbered. There are two children and only one of me. The list of things to do is never ending, and I feel like my arms are always full and my feet are never still.

But I hear God whispering to my heart, reminding me to enjoy these moments with my children, for they will be gone before I know it. While this season may be difficult, there is great joy in it. And it is just that, a season. It will pass in the blink of an eye.

As I got out of the shower, one I raced through because I have no back-up in the house, I realized that in five years my world will be completely different. Both children will be in school. My house will be empty. Maybe I’ll finally be able to keep it clean. Maybe I’ll be able to stay on top of my to-do list. But I know I will also long for the noise, chaos, and toys strewn all over the living room floor.

Right now, in this moment, my children are here. There are needing ME. They are loving on ME. They are making memories with ME. As the seasons change, they will be maturing, needing me less. They will be loving on me in a different way, and they will have others in their lives to make memories.

While I am a little nervous about what today and the rest of the school year brings with two little ones, I’m going to soak up every minute of the chaos because right now it’s my chaos. God has blessed me with the opportunity to be a stay at home mom. While there are days it would be easier going to work, I would miss out on so much with them. This is where God has placed me, and my heart is glad. I’m thankful my arms are filled with a baby and my feet are chasing a toddler.