My Momma's Heart
Saturday, January 23, 2016
New Website
I am excited to announce my new website, Heart to Heart. All of these posts can be found there, and I look forward to sharing more encouraging words.
Monday, January 11, 2016
This Year I'll Be A Better Mom
A letter to my daughters…
Happy New Year, sweet girls!
I know I have let you down this past year, and I’m truly
sorry. Please forgive me for the times I was not the mother God wanted me to
be. Forgive me for those times I was too tired to play what you wanted, those times
I told you, “Give me one more minute,” those times I put work above you, when I took
out my frustration on you, for not wanting to get up with you in the middle of
the night, those times I was not respectful to your dad, and for wanting more
time to myself.
I’m sorry you had to see that side of me. I’m sorry for
being selfish.
You are each an incredible blessing in my life, and I know I
don’t always show that. This year I will. This year I will hug you a little
tighter, read another book before bed, soak up the smell of your freshly
shampooed hair, and love on you a little more. I will not rush from one thing
to the next. When you want or need my attention, I will gladly give it, and I
will appreciate each memory we make, because I realize our time together is not
going to last forever.
One day you will move out. You might have a family of your
own, and I want you to be the best wife and mom you can be, and I know that
starts right now by me setting the example.
I will live this year in the moment, for there were too many
times that passed by last year where I was preoccupied with something else. I
will say yes to the simple things in life and no to the things that pull me
away from you. I will love you with a fierce love so you know how much you are
cared for, adored, and appreciated. I will be the light that God has called me
to be in your life so you can see him, know him, and love him.
I will love on your dad in front of you a little more. My
tone with him will be much sweeter, and I will show respect so you know how to
treat your husbands in the future. I will make family a priority each and every
day because this is what truly matters. When you have families of your own one
day, I want them to be a great value to you, and I know that starts by me
showing it now.
This year is going to be a year for more love, laughs, hugs,
and memories. I thank God for you every day, but this year I’m going to thank
him even more and soak up everything I can, because this year you will grow
more and more. My time with you is becoming less, so it’s about time to make
these moments filled with more love and joy.
When you look back on your childhood, I hope you remember
the love that was shown to you. I pray that I am a godly example of a wife and
a mother. Each year is a chance to start fresh, but we are also given that
opportunity every day.
Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “The steadfast love of the LORD
never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.”
Each day I fail as a mother, but God’s grace is there to
meet me when I have fallen. How precious is that grace! How much of a blessing
it is to start fresh.
Each morning I am going to find a way to be a better mom to
you. Each of you is a blessing. Never forget that, sweet girls! And neither
shall I.
Love,
Momma
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
The Comparison Game
The
comparison game. Oh, boy!
Do I play
it? Unfortunately, yes, all too often. How about you?
I’m in the midst of that struggle
right now.
Her house is
so much bigger…and clean ALL the time. My tiny house always has
something out of place and crumbs everywhere.
Her clothes are gorgeous. How
does she ALWAYS look that nice? I have spit-up on my clothes just about every day.
Her kids are so well behaved. How
do they listen to EVERYTHING she says? My toddler turns to me and says, “Nah,”
and gives me those defiant eyes.
Her marriage
is perfect. They NEVER have arguments. I feel like a broken record asking my
husband to pick up his socks.
Anyone else feel like
everyone but you has it together? I sure do. It's all too easy to see the best
of people and compare it to the worst of us.
Think about social media.
Every day pictures and comments are posted that reflect the best parts of
people’s lives: a newly remodeled room, an outfit that looks stunning, children
getting along in perfect unity, and a smiling spouse posing in the perfect
vacation spot.
When we focus on what
other people portray to us, it’s easy to feel like we’ve failed. Since we know
our own failures, it feels like we are never going to be good enough.
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What we don't see behind
the “perfection” of someone else is the mess of dirty dishes in that newly
remodeled kitchen, the struggle to find that perfect outfit because she's still
trying to lose the baby weight, the following picture of her toddler pushing
the baby sister flat on her face, and the argument that happened in the car
that made her want to forget about even going on the vacation.
None of us have it all
together. Some of us are just better at hiding that truth than others. But I
wish we didn’t have to mask it. If we were more open about it maybe the
comparison game would stop.
Let me tell you, my two year
old put Aquaphor all through her hair on the day we were getting Christmas
pictures taken. You have got to be kidding me. While it feels like stuff like
that doesn’t happen to anyone else, I know it does.
I fail every single day. And if
you’re honest, you do too, but that’s what makes us human, and that’s what bonds
us together on this journey. Instead of comparing what we have or don’t have,
let’s share our hearts with those around us. Let’s be honest with each other.
Let’s show the good, the bad, and the ugly of our lives instead of pretending
we have it all together.
Ending the comparison game brings
much needed rest and joy to our lives.
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. (Proverbs 14:30 NIV)
I want a heart at peace. Don't you?
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. (Proverbs 14:30 NIV)
I want a heart at peace. Don't you?
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Are You Passionate About What You Do?
Are you passionate about what you do? Do you love getting up
in the morning to do your job well?
I can’t say I always have.
When I was in high school, I generally dreaded Saturday
mornings because that meant going to work. What happened to the days of
enjoying a weekend?
When I finally got to college, there were days I didn’t want
to go to class. Why did I have to spend that time studying when I just wanted to
get out in the real world?
But once I was out in the real world, I wished to be back at
college, where life seemed so much easier. The stress of each day made me look
forward to the time I would get to be a stay-at-home mom. That was the plan,
after all, and that’s what I eagerly anticipated.
But you know what? I can’t say I’ve been thrilled every
single day that I’ve stayed at home and taken care of every need of my girls
and the house. Why doesn’t the sink stay empty for more than two hours? Why do
I never see the bottom of the hamper? Why is there always dirt on the floor?
Discontentment. It has been strewn throughout my life.
It’s a song I no longer want to sing.
I have been more than blessed in every season of life, yet
the natural reaction has been to look at the difficulties in the situations and
yearn for something else instead of looking at all the good that surrounds me.
The problem is that I’m looking to the things around me to
bring fulfillment in my life, which is only going to continue to leave me
empty. God is the only one who can fill any hole in my heart.
I also neglect to work for God.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters" (Colossians 3:23).
Our work, no matter what it is, should be done for the Lord.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters" (Colossians 3:23).
Our work, no matter what it is, should be done for the Lord.
God has placed me right where I am for an incredible
purpose.
Sometimes it doesn’t seem magnificent to be wiping butts,
mopping up spill after spill, and walking on crumbs all day long, but if I look
past all that, I see what truly matters. I am raising two beautiful children to
know God. I have the privilege of pointing them to Him. I have the
responsibility of pouring into the lives of these little girls because one day
they are going to pour into the lives of others. I am building a legacy within
my home.
There is nothing more important than that.
Sure, I don’t get to sleep in. I don’t always get to eat a
hot meal. And I can’t do what I want when I want, but those smiles, hugs, and
sparkling eyes make it all worth it.
I remember the first time I heard our oldest daughter pray
on her own. We had no idea what she said, but God knew her heart, and mine swelled
with joy. Her relationship with God was taking shape. What an incredible thing
to witness. This is the most important work I will ever do, and I am blessed to
be called a mother.
It’s time to stop looking at what I’m missing out on and
start focusing on what God is using me for in this moment.
There’s nothing ordinary about it.
Whether you make six figures, minimum wage, or nothing at
all, know that God has called you to be right where you are. He has an
incredible plan for your life and for the lives of the people you interact with
every day.
Don’t forget the incredible power God displays through
ordinary people. It matters.
Monday, November 2, 2015
When Life Is A Blur
When I was in high school, I played field hockey. Being on
the field made me forget about everything else. I didn’t worry about my grades.
I didn’t worry about the guy I had a crush on. I wasn’t thinking about the
upcoming weekend. I was consumed by the game. That’s where my thoughts were
focused.
On more than one occasion I acquired an injury during a
game. The extent of it wasn’t revealed until I sat on the bench. Only then,
once my adrenaline was no longer pumping, could I assess my wounds. My focus
changed because I was quiet.
Some days I feel like I have tunnel vision. When I played
field hockey, I could only think about getting that ball in the net. These
days, my thoughts are consumed with my day to day responsibilities. My thoughts
are focused on my young children and all their needs. Some days I’m drowning in
laundry, play-doh, spit-up, and tears.
Sometimes life feels like a blur. These are the longest and
shortest days, all at the same time.
I need to be still. I need to pull myself away from all of
the demands calling my name, and I need to sit at the feet of Jesus. I need to
be filled with the Holy Spirit, and I need to be instructed by our Father. I
need to take the time to assess my wounds because they need treated before I
can get back in the game.
Oh, it’s so hard to be still.
This past weekend I was on a retreat, and we had an hour where we
spent alone with God. No Bible. No notebook. No nothing. Just us in front of
our heavenly Father. It wasn’t easy, but it was needed. It was refreshing. It was eye-opening.
Did I get to take in the beauty of creation? Yes.
Did I get to pray, pray, and pray? Yes.
Was I convicted of certain things? Yes.
Did I leave perfect? Absolutely not, but I was bandaged.
Won’t you join me and be still before God? Even if it’s for
five minutes. Even if it means staying in the bathroom a couple extra minutes.
Let’s quiet our hearts so our lives can be illuminated instead of blurred.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Bragging On Your Hubby
I have a Facebook friend who regularly posts pictures of her and
her husband, sharing what he means to her and how proud she is of him.
It makes me think about my own relationship. My husband brags on
me all the time.
Sometimes it makes me want to slink back into the corner
because I don't want the limelight. All eyes on me is uncomfortable.
Even though my cheeks brighten and I feel a little embarrassed, I
do like that he wants others to know what he loves about me or what I've done
that's so impressive to him.
But do I do it for him?
With my head held in shame, I must say that I don't. I should. And
I will. He's incredible. After all, he puts up with my craziness.
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He is my biggest fan. He is my voice of reason. He’s my blessing
from God. I want him to feel the same about me.
A
wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10-12 NIV)
When my husband thinks of me, I want him to see me as worth more
than rubies. I want him to have confidence in me, and I desire to bring him
good. Every. Single. Day.
What does that good look like? An encouraging word? A selfless
act? Cooking his favorite meal? Being the wife that God has called me to be,
the wife my husband needs.
The challenge I have for myself and every other wife is to brag on
your hubby. He desires it, and I guarantee relationships will be strengthened.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Covering Our Children In Prayer
My oldest daughter’s second birthday is quickly approaching.
I stop and reflect on the past two years and how much has changed. On this day
two years ago, I was pregnant. My husband and I had no idea how drastically
life was going to change. We had no idea how much joy and love was about to
fill our hearts (and how many dirty clothes would spill from the laundry
basket).
I remember wondering how she would look. Whose features
would she have? What type of personality was going to shine through? Who was
she going to become? What type of mother was I going to be? So many questions
floated through my head because everything was unknown.
The future is still unknown, but it is unfolding before our
eyes every day. Almost two years of her life are in the rearview mirror, and
what precious memories we hold in our hearts.
It makes me think about when we were expecting her. Before
my husband and I would go to bed each night, we would pray over her. We had no
idea who she was at that moment, other than our precious child who was already
loved beyond words. We knew God had and has a plan for her, and we wanted to
lift her up to him.
The power of prayer is real, and I’m going to take every
opportunity to cover my children in it. I’m going to pray for them as they’re
small. I’m going to pray for them when they grow into young adults. And I’m
going to continue to pray for them when the time comes for them to have their
own families.
I’m going to pray for them when they do something that makes
me proud and when they frustrate me. When they’re near and when they’re far. When I’m the most
important thing to them and when they think I’m the worst. I’m going to pray
for them without ceasing.
Won’t you join me and pray for your children as well?
Lord,
Thank you for the blessing of my children. You have an
incredible plan for each one of their lives, and you have placed me on that
path to help them grow and discover how you can use them. I am not equipped to
raise them on my own. I need your wisdom to bring them up in a way that is
pleasing to you. You know their needs better than I do.
I don’t measure up. Many times I fail, and it seems like
other moms have it together. I know they struggle too, but sometimes it’s hard
to see. Calm my heart and keep me from comparing myself to what I see with my human
eyes. I’ve messed up so many times as a parent and as a wife. Please cover
those moments with your grace.
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My heart longs for my children to know you. I pray that you
will reveal yourself to them and show them the incomparable love you have for
each one. I want their faith to be their own, not something they feel forced
into. I want them to know you intimately. I want them to want to follow you all
the days of their lives. Open their hearts. Open their arms to serve you. Guide
them as only you can.
Help me to show them love, support, and understanding. Lord,
take away my own expectations of parenting so you can shine through. Let me be
a vessel for your truth that needs to be spoken into their lives, and I ask for
eyes to see them the way you do.
You have graciously given each one special gifts. I need the
wisdom to know how to help them use these gifts to honor you. Do incredible
things in their lives individually, and I ask that you use our family to be a
light in this dark world.
May I be transparent when it comes to my walk with you so
that I can set an example for them. Even in the midst of struggles, failures,
and mistakes, may they see your grace, love and forgiveness.
Thank you for entrusting these children to my care. With
your strength and wisdom I will embrace the path laid out before me. Thank you
for always being present in my life. I watch with anticipation as you reveal
yourself to my children, and I thank you for using them to reveal yourself to
me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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